This week has been such a damn roller coaster.
I don't know if I am up or down or just crazy at this point.
Some days I have felt like I was getting it, and then the very next day something will happen, either in class or with other students, to convince me that I am totally lost.
Further, I was not prepared for just how much I would care about making friends, nor for the immense amount of insecurity I would feel in the process. I have never been shy or insecure about friendship, but somehow, here in this new setting where we are all checking each other out, I am constantly second guessing whether people actually like me or not. Very odd. Obviously related to the overall off-kilter feeling law school seems to inspire. At least I hope so.
My study time hasn't been horrible yet but I am very aware that they are easing us in, not giving us the amount of work that will eventually be the norm.
This week I have barely spent time with family and friends - but so far they are all understanding as I had prepped all my connections on how very hard it would be for me to do anything beyond the bare minimum this semester and maybe even this year.
My running has stayed very nice and structured and I am going to cling to that like a mother, folks. It is keeping me sane and is something I can totally control. There it is. I am for sure a bit of a control freak :-)
Twitter Updates
Things to come in '08 and beyond
- Friends - past and present and future - to share it with
- six minute miles
- A Killers concert
- more time with four great kids
- the Bar (hmm, and after the Bar, the bar?)
- more tears, more laughs, more flirting and more chaos
- lots more charity runs
- skydiving
- Africa
- Mount Kilamanjaro
- Greece and Italy
- Triathalon
- A job....
Things I have done in my life
- voted for Clinton (Bill), Bush (junior) and Nader(the only)
- flirted to get a free drink, to get out of a ticket and to distract someone
- ran from the Bay to the Breakers
- got married in Vegas
- learned that I don't know much
- Europe
- cried honest tears over someone else's pain
- raised four fine kids
- started a nonprofit
- the marathon
4 comments:
Look at your title for this entry. ;) Making friends takes time. Right now you're okay with a few interactions (that may lead to friendships). I bet your getting it just as well as anyone else. I'm sure in a few weeks you'll have "duh" moments when something from week one clicks and falls into place.
As my mother use to tell me..."You wouldn't care what people think of you if you knew just how often they did it."
Keeping up with your running is GREAT. What are you doing for lunch and snacks? Bagging it or buying?
For me, the entire first semester was a roller coaster, basically all the way through getting first semester grades, recovering from getting first semester grades, and finally figuring out in the middle of spring semester how to make it work and not go insane.
If I could go back and give myself advice a year ago, it would be: don't take everything so seriously. I put way too much pressure on myself, and in many ways I cracked. Spring semester was so much better once I realized that. Also, by spring you'll come to figure out your strengths and weaknesses and how to best utilize them.
Hang in there and stay motivated! This is truly the hardest semester you'll have, so remember there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
I am a 1L too-also 35- I have 3 kids. I loved this post-it is exactly how I feel. I think that feeling like we don't get it sometimes is just about right for this stage...at least, I hope it is. The friend thing has been harder for me than I thought it would-I come from a job where everyone was close and funny, these people I'm meeting are all kind of uptight. And a lot younger than me. The age doesn't bother me, I think it's just that we are in very different stages of our lives and it's harder for me to socialize-I really don't drink or have time to hang out in bars. I have made one good friend who is also a mom-are there any other "non-traditional" students like you? (I hate that term)
Thanks guys - just finished week two and is easier and harder all at once.
Anon 2 - I am not actually working at finding any other "mommy" types as there appear to be two at this point, neither of whom appeal to me. One is a gunner, although she is in my section. The other mommy type is not in my section and in fact is a flex student, so I only rarely see her. I have kinda formed a little group of friends, all male as I mention later in posting, and various in ages. A couple of them are right out of UG, which surpises me, and the other three are older. It is an easy, loose affiliation.
I am still up and down and all around - how about you?
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