Today, I am so tired, so disgusted with myself and my own keeping the husband/kids thing on the down lo, so missing my kids and so feeling behind in some way I can't quite put my finger on, I want to quit.
Rest assured I know this is probably quite a normal feeling.
But today I wanna quit, snuggle down in my bed and just be no one.
Twitter Updates
Things to come in '08 and beyond
- Friends - past and present and future - to share it with
- six minute miles
- A Killers concert
- more time with four great kids
- the Bar (hmm, and after the Bar, the bar?)
- more tears, more laughs, more flirting and more chaos
- lots more charity runs
- skydiving
- Africa
- Mount Kilamanjaro
- Greece and Italy
- Triathalon
- A job....
Things I have done in my life
- voted for Clinton (Bill), Bush (junior) and Nader(the only)
- flirted to get a free drink, to get out of a ticket and to distract someone
- ran from the Bay to the Breakers
- got married in Vegas
- learned that I don't know much
- Europe
- cried honest tears over someone else's pain
- raised four fine kids
- started a nonprofit
- the marathon
7 comments:
(((HUGS))) Hang in there. It's only Tuesday! ;)
I so can relate to that feeling. While I'm not yet a law student I understand what your going through.
Hang in, take a moment to exhale and scream your head off.
Then go to bed to awake to another great day.
:-)
I have to admit to you that I gave up denying my family. It helped me to just claim them and move on. I know that some people have dismissed me as not being able to cut it because of them, but screw em! seriously! Im sorry that I ever suggested the idea, but it was out of my own insecurity. I bet if you "come out of the closet" you will feel much, much better!
I know you can get yourself going again. Just remember that part of why you are doing this (im assuming) is to benefit your family. You can do it!
Get used to the constant feeling of wanting to give up!! It's the recurring theme of the entire first semester! But you'll pull through, and you'll feel 500% better in the spring once you've found a way to balance it all.
Don't you think that keeping your family on the down low might actually be causing you more stress? You can't be the only parent/spouse in law school. The average age of the entering class is 25! You might find your fellow students rallying around you if you let it be known that law student is not the only hat you wear. And don't say that this would be admitting defeat or that you want to stand on your own two feet and do this without support from anyone, that's just pride.
You know, I didn't advertise to my classmates that I had three kids, but when it eventually came out it really wasn't that big of a deal. I think they were more stunned that I was old enough to have three kids. And then they were truly impressed that I could do everything they did while raising a family.
I never heard any negative comments, but I think I got a reputation for being really smart because I was a good student and obviously didn't have the time to dedicate that my childless classmates did.
So don't stress youself out by trying too hard to hide your family from your classmates. There are more important things to worry about. (But employers, well that's another issue.)
Good luck...it'll get better.
I want to quit every single day. Hang in there and - like a good friend once told me - just put one foot in front of the other. The time will pass.
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