crazy days

This month has been insane.

And I just don't know why?

Kids sick or attitudy, husband in foul temper, friends with many social needs, school (of course)...

I want a Calgon day people.

It's a beautiful day in the neighboorhood.

Gorgeous weather. Unmotivating for study. I don't want to read. I don't want to work on citations. I don't want to be inside.

Squashing assignments like bugs

I am on such a roll. I have most of the week's reading done, which is actually not as dumb as it sounds because I have tons of outside stuff going on this week. It feels good to be back in the swing of being a bit ahead, also. That is my personality - the need to be a few assignments ahead is not new.

Wish I was doing as well with my eating plan. Oh boy am I fat and getting fatter. I hate that.

The week is going to be different though. I am determined to go at the diet/exercise goals I have set with some zeal this week.

Watch this spot. Make me accountable please.

Spring Semester - it is very different

I have an extra class this semester and some added responsibilities related to school. It is a much faster, and yet more familiar, pace, so I am happier starting this semester than I was in the fall. I like that I know people and the way things work now, because it is easier to manage my own time with that "first look in" time over.

Working on sticking to a schedule. Some days are much better productivity wise than others. Today has been a mixed bag since I have a horrible cold, but lots of work to do. I'm trying to decide whether to try to write on to a journal, or more, or to just let go of that idea. I know prestige wise it is important but I am wondering if the amount of time and work it adds is really worth all that. I'm very open to thoughts on this - so do share please.

Several of my friends are working harder this semester in response to less than happy grades. I want very much to continue working with those same friends, because I do think it is a benefit to do that in a structured way. On the other hand, a couple of the people who were on the fringes of working with us are dropping totally away, and still aren't doing the work to keep up with classes. This worries me and I am considering talking to one person in particular in a very blunt way about a(n even worse) work ethic/class performance issue, in hopes of getting this person to open up about ways we might be able to help, or what's going on. I ordinarily am in fact this nosy/confrontational, but in this situation it is even more exaggerrated as the person's performance is drastically and dramatically worse (and it was never really good), to the point that she is wasting valuable class time asking very ridiculous questions, leading to a feeling of resentment by classmates and no doubt professors also.

We shall see.

Relief and disappointment

So all the grades are in and I did very well overall. Three were way better than I dreamt of, one was exactly what I knew was coming although it got bumped up a bit because of the curve, and one was just plain bad. If you saw my grades it would look very bad in a lonely and schizophrenic sort of way. And yes, it is really a bad one.

But more concerning to me is how my section and my class as a whole will be affected by the final numbers being in. There were several very downcast faces today and I imagine it will be worse now that it is over. I suspect at least one or possibly two or three more people will leave. And there are rumors that a few may be asked to leave.

On happier notes, Scholarship Boy kept his scholarship, and Breakup Girl is pleasantly relieved. Divorcing Guy is dead even with where he needs to be. Several others, though, are very down or at least very disappointed.

Lil rum and reflection here, be warned.

Last year at this time I was in a very different place in my head. I was hurting from some serious failures, and newly minted with a pretty good LSAT score and a dream. I was a confused but moving forward girl.

So, I am still confused on some things, but affirmed hugely in others. Not just by grades, but by the fact that I have met some really awesome, totally unexpected people, and made some pretty great friends. I enjoy the freaky learning process of law school and feel that my age (which I had opined about quite a bit to friends and this blog) is an advantage and nothing more.

This past year I had some growing up to do though. I had to figure out that those "young uns" are very much the same as me. And who I am is not a number or a grade or even a failure (as I was quite convinced for the whole of 2006, right up till my LSAT told me I had a chance at a new dream). So I guess, the real point of all this is, no matter how old you are, you still have some growing up to do.

Got some grades

I am very happy with all but one. One sucks big donkey feet. But I am overall just pleased and relieved. Classes being back in session and a couple grades still out is a weird feeling. Some people appear to have disappeared - and I hear rumors that some have quit. Anyone know if that is a normal thing to happen in mid-year one? Seems too early to give up the fight but perhaps some grades were that bad OR people realized it just isn't for them?
Perplexed, relieved, slightly disappointed in myself for not being more diligent last semester, and committed to doing better this time around.

Ode to Professor X

You are in fact the devil.
Subtitled: Why is Class X two semesters?

Oh Professor X -

Perhaps you find yourself appealing.
But newsflash - your class is revealing
That you are a jerk
You don't do your work
And we wish you would move to Wheeling.
Or Cleveland.
Or Los Angeles.
Or anywhere but here.

Dear Professor X -

You may be nationally known
But you are like a dog without a bone
You whine and you fuss
And you yell at us
Until all we can do is moan.
Not in a good way.
In manner of dog stuck under semi.

Ahh my creativity is astounding(ly sad, I know).

Who am I?

Credit to butterflyfish!

Who am I? This is an ongoing question in my life, so it seems a good time to explore it for others to consume...

I am not short, nor tall, not truly fat but definitely not thin. I am a runner. I try to be a little stylish but most of the time I wonder if it looks like I am trying too hard.

My hair is very very wavy and frizzy.

I have nice shoes.

I am a great one with directions, but only if they are given in cardinal terms.

I love chocolate, black beans, feta cheese, tomatoes, pastries and pasta. I do not much like meat, except in waves.

My life is a bit of a mystery to many, including me. I married young but I don't recommend it - it makes that growing up bit harder. My greatest embarrassment and shame in life caused me to spend almost a month in bed in what I later learnt was real, true depression. I have battled that ever since.

I love people. Even their craziness, and the things that drive me insane. And as I get older, I love people in their real states even more - the bad drivers, the bad dressers, the foul mouths, the adulterers, the prostitutes, the drug addicts, the loud and rude - all of them make up a part of who I am now. The more I come to accept, understand and really see people for who they are, the more I feel ok about who I am.

My children are of course the most beautiful, intelligent and emotionally sound of any around. Unless I am yelling at them.

Friends are something I value at least as much as family, and sometimes more. I believe you make your family and your home up as you go.

That is me. More or less.

No grades, but plenty of food

Didn't start the year out great for my weight loss plan. I hope I am back on track but we shall see. I eat alot folks. It is totally coming to my attention now that I am doing Weight Watchers and tracking points. Every this and that, even fruit, counts. I am halfway through my points for the day and it is only two o'clock. That is bad for me because generally I eat more points at dinner.

We still have no grades and guess what? We won't till next week or later. Anyone else out there totally gradeless? Creepy, knowing we will be back at school with no idea where we stand.

There really isn't much else going on. I feel like there should be, but life is pretty blah. I wake up excited because there is nothing to do and by this time in the day feel pretty unmotivated and uncertain as to what I should be doing.

Kids back to school soon. I suppose I should work on something now like reading ahead, but, a nap seems much more appealing....